Self-talk
I’ve been listening to a lot of people talking about how COVID-19 has affected them and what parts have been the most challenging. I’m hearing, “I’m usually a happy person, but this thing has got me feeling down, and I don’t know what to do to change that.” I’m hearing that individuals with a history of low moods have been more depressed: probably because their regular ways of managing aren’t so readily available due to social distancing. I’m hearing a lot that people feel bad because they’re not so productive as they’d like to be, that they have slacked off on exercise or healthy eating routines. Many people describe feeling restless, the understandable anxiety that comes from having your world turned upside down unexpectedly.
It’s taken a toll on how we manage mentally; there’s even a term for it…COVID brain! If you’ve felt a bit foggy in the past several months, check out what one researcher has to say.
I love this article as it will reassure you that what you’re experiencing is normal and gives some tips on keeping the fog at bay.
You could benefit by bringing in some reinforcements to respond more effectively to the pandemic’s challenges. I’ve been noticing people’s language, the way they talk to themselves, and about themselves. And it doesn’t surprise me that they feel the way they do. It struck me that they really could feel better, be struggling less right now if they tap into the power of their inner monologue. This is not business as usual, and your “best” right now, may be different from your best six months ago. That’s okay. I want you to take a close look at your self-talk and be more supportive to yourself, so you can look back at this moment in your life and know that you did your best, that you “nailed it.” Won’t that feel amazing?
“In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths” ~ Betty Eadie
This may sound obvious, but it’s really important. Your thoughts, what you tell yourself… you choose them.
You choose them.
The first step is truly realizing that.
Think of the running inner monologue you listen to throughout your day. A lot of it is automatic because it’s a pattern of thinking you’ve developed over time. Some of it likely serves you well. And some of it doesn’t. It probably causes you unnecessary discomfort and worry, and has you feeling worse than you need to. It robs you of some peace of mind and joy. So if you tend to react with cynicism, negativity, or worry, it’s okay. It’s just not you operating at your best. What you tell yourself on auto-pilot isn’t true; it’s just your go-to or a habit. Let’s talk about how you change the habit.
Have you heard the expression “perception is reality”? This is that. You are creating your own experience of how the pandemic affects you. And a big part of how we create experiences is through what we tell ourselves about them. That’s why your language is so powerful. That’s how people in difficult circumstances can be pretty happy. And why people whose lot in life is pretty good can be miserable.
I’ve created an exercise to help you become aware of your thoughts so that you can keep the ones that work for you and replace the ones that don’t.
Over the next few days, I want you to pay close attention to what you say to yourself. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, write it down on the left-hand side of a page. Also, notice your feelings. If you’re down, anxious, fearful, angry, what have you been saying before you felt this way? Throughout the day, add to the page. Then, take time at the end of each day. Examine each statement with a calm, logical mind. Is what you wrote true, or is there another, more positive way of looking at the situation? Challenge that statement by writing the positive version on the right side. The magic of this exercise is that our brains are good at generating opposites when presented with something. So this is an effective way to shift quickly to a powerful mindset. If you’re struggling with coming up with a positive response to a negative feeling, think of what you would say to a friend who is down, you’d likely try to boost their mood. That’s what we need to do more of for ourselves.
When you’re done, your guide will look like this.
I can’t do this. / I can do this. I wonder how I can do this.
This is too hard. / Life is hard sometimes. I have it within me to figure this out.
I feel overwhelmed. / I can handle this. I can break things down into manageable pieces.
I’m not productive enough. / I’m in the middle of a national health crisis! I’m going to cut myself some slack. How I measure success looks different right now.
Things feel pretty hopeless right now. / This is a temporary situation. The future will be brighter.
I feel (depressed, anxious, scared) about money, work, health. What’s wrong with me? / Of course I feel this way. What specifically can I do today to improve my mood?
If you apply this exercise, now and moving forward, what do you notice changes? It may take time for you to develop the positivity as your go-to. Be patient and repeat the exercise. Remember: successful people take time to master skills and use many tools to support them.
Now let’s super-charge things, because I don’t want just “good” for you: I want “great” for you.
I referred earlier to reinforcements being needed right now as you are coping with an extraordinarily difficult time. I’ve been hearing people being so hard on themselves. Strategies such as practicing daily affirmations every day can vastly improve your mood and productivity. So please do yourself a favor and make them part of your life, starting now.
Because whether it’s a crisis like COVID-19 or your life, I don’t want you to just “get through” it. I want you to knock it out of the park.
Change your thoughts – change your day – change your Life. It is really that simple.