Anyone following music these days?

Ed Sheeran just released a new single “Bad Habits”. And it’s not just Ed who has bad habits on the mind. It’s something I want to talk about too…

Over the last few weeks, I did some traveling, and had the incredible opportunity to see lots of family, friends and friends of friends. I celebrated big moments like attending my nephew’s wedding and found solace in meaningful conversions over a glass of wine with an old friend. And while these moments were wonderful, and even potentially inspiring, I found they also had a common thread…

So much of our revived connections were centered around alcohol, beyond the normal celebratory cheers or salud. And I couldn't help but note, this was something I didn’t see as much at family gatherings and celebrations before… which has made me ask … have our COVID coping mechanisms turned into bad habits?

Coping mechanisms are behaviors that prevent us from losing the stress battle. And as we know 2020 was definitely a stressful year. At their best, they increase our resilience and help us remain energized and motivated in the face of anxiety and overwhelm. But at their worst, they can lead to lifelong bad habits that actually fuel anxiety and sustain the cycle of stress…

Maybe you’ve seen coping mechanisms turn into costly habits in yourself or others. Maybe you found yourself eating too much, or slacking off a bit because you were working from home and you could get away with it.

You told yourself It’s just for now.
Yet here you are.
It’s later.
Has it gone on too long?

Here’s the tricky thing about unhealthy coping strategies… they FEEL like they’re having the desired effect in the short term. When in reality they can end up costing you more than the short term; they can negatively impact your life in the long run, costing you good health or peace of mind. Or a decent night’s sleep if you’re not at the top of your game with work. Are you having that extra drink or eating more than normal? Spending more and saving less for the retirement lifestyle you dream about? Like I said before, bad habits cost you in the short and long term.

Ask yourself if your current habits are holding you back from having something that really matters? What will your future look like if you continue to choose unwisely?

I want you to start listening to the part of you that knows you're capable of more.
I know you are. All you have to do is decide that you are. And then put my 3 steps into action.

1. Forgive Yourself. Make a clean slate.

I'd like to talk to the part of you that is compassionate. As humans we often beat ourselves up unnecessarily and send ourselves into a shame spiral. But just for a minute, I’m asking that you treat yourself with the kindness and empathy you would give to one of your very best friends. No judging or bashing. Because it’s not only unkind… it’s not effective. Criticism doesn’t motivate.
I want you to take the approach that things happened as they did and you are where you are NOW… and it doesn’t really matter what drove you there. Whether it was the absence of fulfilling activity, regular exercise, or spending time without your peeps to the point of isolation. Can you forgive yourself for letting the excess - of TV watching, alcohol, comfort foods, etc. - go on too long? For me, it was putting on 19 COVID lbs… ironic I know. It happened. The pandemic required us to cope like we never had to before, and so with that in mind be gentle. Life likes to throw things at us like Tropical storm Elsa that came through my town yesterday. To quote another Elsa… “Let it Go.”

2. Speak your new habits into existence.

Your goal is to stop doing something. Yet the most successful strategies are about the positive/abundance rather than the negative/scarcity. So choose the healthy, replacement behavior using positive, specific language. For now, intentionally commit to it daily, until the new pattern develops. Which it will, if you keep choosing it.

So say what you are going to do. Let me give you some examples.

To not miss deadlines, and not stress myself out with 15-hour work days playing catch-up… always feeling like I’m behind.
I will create a specific work task list weekly to be on track for reaching my goals.

To not feel low-energy during the day because I stay up late binge-watching or scrolling mindlessly.
I will sleep 7 hours a night, so will be in bed by 11 p.m.

Being specific can be very freeing. No fumbling about in the moment… no asking “What do I do?” Just follow your pre-determined plan. That way you have conscious decisions made ahead of time that support your new habits.

3. Develop a support system

If you’re serious about letting go of a bad habit, then know that deadlines are your best friend. You know how it goes. Maybe I’ll start next week, next month. And then it’s 2022. And that could turn into… never.

Or maybe you’ve been saying you’ll get rid of that costly habit eventually?
Well, eventually gives you an out.

Do you know one of the most common missing elements when people fail to reach goals? Help from others. So before your start date, pick the person or people whom you’ll be reaching out to when you’re struggling. Let them know you are taking on something really important and you’d like them to be a part of it.

If you think you don't know anyone, take another look. Is there someone you know who’s kicked a costly habit? Who, even if you’re not really close, may be willing to support you like someone did for them? You both may rise higher and grow more… as “our lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of our peer group”. Thank you for that, Tony Robbins!

If you really don't have that person in your life right now, that’s okay. This could be a good time, a great reason, to hire a coach.

My wish for you is that you live fulfilled and struggle less.

Now that we have so many more options again, let's choose wisely.

🙏

Get Rid of Those Bad Habits You Picked Up during COVID