Creating Intentions Instead of Resolutions
New Year’s celebrations were vastly different this year. Some chose to celebrate quietly at home; others joined Zoom celebrations. Mine was quiet, and I’m pretty happy about it! I recalled one ritual my friends and I have done on New Year’s. We shared our resolutions for the coming year. Many resolutions we shared were identical to the ones we shared the year before. Why are resolutions so difficult for some of us to achieve? Perhaps they are too vast (we all know the value of breaking down a goal into something that can be measured), or the resolutions were too vague. Whatever the reason, we always ended up with the same conversation, year after year.
This reminded me of a moment last summer when I stumbled upon (and bought!) a t-shirt at Target that reads Set Intentions not Resolutions. Such wisdom from Target. It got me thinking about the difference between the two and how much that matters when you want to make something happen in your life. I spent a lot of time considering this, the difference between resolutions and intentions. Could it be that the secret to achieving goals rather than just dreaming about them lies in how you frame them?
When I think of the core meaning of the words, I think of resolution as an end goal or outcome: a problem that needs to be solved. Intention, however, brings me to the mindset of personal growth. As an example, I can state that my resolution for 2021 is to lose 15 lbs. Hopefully, this is achievable, but a resolution focuses only on the final outcome, weight lost. When I reframe this as an intention, it becomes to live a healthier lifestyle focusing on getting more rest, a more balanced diet, and drinking more water (and not in the form of coffee!). My intention is more inviting and more forgiving than focusing on an end goal.
I invite you to visit https://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/set-intentions-that-work/ for a beautiful article on the power of intentions.
Now you understand how setting an intention is so effective in setting you up to get into action as soon as you choose it. You appreciate the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery; A goal without a plan is just a wish.
Here are a few more differences between intentions and resolutions, reflecting how resolutions are negative and intentions are more positive.
Resolutions are rooted in shame and failure. You hear it in language like, I have to lose weight, just like I said this time last year, or I have to work in this way to get that promotion. In contrast, intentions are based on success and confidence. That has you feeling proud of yourself as you envision making that goal or dream happen.
Resolutions live in the realm of should. I should have exercised more. I should have called my parents more often. I should have _________. You can fill in that blank pretty quickly, right? Resolutions come from a place of what I didn’t do. On the other hand, intentions sound more like What do I want, and how specifically can I go about having that?
Resolutions have you focus on what you want to move away from. Intentions have you look forward, so your energy does that as well. Which inspires, gets you excited for what you’re going to be up to, propelling you into action more easily. The psychology around shaping behavior supports my claim. The most successful way to generate a behavior, which repeated many times leads to productive habits, is to use positive reinforcement. You do something and are rewarded for it. Negative reinforcement, in which you do something to avoid getting a negative result, works too. Yet not nearly so well as the positive kind. There’s the evidence. We operate best when moving towards something: not when acting to avoid something.
What I find incredibly powerful is to write my intentions down where I can visit them regularly. My favorite indulgence at the beginning of a new year is to purchase a beautiful journal. At the front, I note my intentions for the year. As I reflect during my day in the journal, I’m reminded of my intentions and once again feel their power. I think of them as a guide, a friend supporting me in my life’s dreams.
Let’s work together to reframe our resolutions as powerful intentions for growth. I look forward to hearing what you come up with!
Special thanks to Cheryl Richardson, who helped me find the words for this incredible blog.