To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.  ~ David Viscott

Valentine’s Day is nearly here, so love may be on the minds of many.  There are so many kinds of love:  the love of a sweetheart, a child, a family member, and friends. There’s also the unconditional love our pets give us, love for our communities, the environment, and the arts.  I’m sure additional ones come to your mind.  However, they all have one thing in common: the capacity to make us feel something. Sometimes it feels like a passion and other times, a warm and all encompassing sensation of deep appreciation.

Want a quick and easy way to feel love? Give something! It doesn't have to be big, and it doesn't have to cost you any or much money.  You could simply give your time by tasking yourself with an item from someone else’s overfilled plate.  It could be your time, by taking a task from someone's plate and doing it for them. We give when we are compassionate, and when we fully listen and engage. It could either be sharing an experience or our very own timely wisdom with others.

Love is so very powerful, and giving is the fast track to loving.  Let’s say you decide to donate items to your local outreach program. When you select items from your own home, or shop for those who will be receiving your contribution, imagine them enjoying the food or being warm from the socks or coat or gloves they now have. How does that make you feel?  How do you feel about the people?  Can you put yourself in their shoes? Perhaps they feel connected, valued, or even loved. This is what is meant by if you want love, be love.  If you're doing that, and I know I am, then multiply that by the millions and billions of humans on this planet.  What would the impact be in this world?  

The term hopeless romantic implies that it's a fool's errand.  Romantic people are hopeful, and remain so, even if they get their heart broken or even if their love story ends before they had hoped.  You can be romantic even if you’re not in an intimate relationship. Loving and feeling loved makes us see the world differently. It makes us see things in their most beautiful and their purest form.  Romantics believe wholeheartedly in the power of love.  They are idealists and dreamers.  I think we all have a romantic inside of us; for some, it’s just waiting to be set free.  Celebrate that part of you, the part that believes in the possibility.  There's magic in it, and when shared with the world it lifts us all up.

Believe it or not there’s a lot of science behind all of this.

Think of neurotransmitters as little chemical messengers that help us understand our experience of love.  You know those warm and fuzzy feelings we get?  Those are given to us by oxytocin.  That helps us bond and build trust. Then there’s the power of dopamine to provide us the euphoric feeling that we can achieve anything.  And let us not forget about the tried and true serotonin.  The forever mood stabilizer that also helps with sleep and digestion. You can think of them as your own internal mod squad.

Even though Valentine’s Day is a helpful reminder to us that we need to be active in maintaining our passion, spark, and interest, it’s something we should be working towards the other 364 days of the year as well.  And if things are feeling a tad routine or low energy in your current relationship or marriage, perhaps you can find some inspiration in the Carly Simon song, “The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of.” 

To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life. ~Pablo Neruda

If you feel lonely, low or even depressed, I want you to think about love and ask yourself the following questions:

-Who are you loving right now?

-Who are you letting love you?

-Are you loving the valentines in your life, and if not, can you prioritize that?

-And most importantly, what are you doing to show yourself that you are worthy of loving and being loved?

So get into a loving state of mind!  Play a favorite song and have a dance party in your living room!  Listen to a classical piece from Le Miserables and really feel the rise and fall of each note.  Close your eyes and think of the most breathtaking place you can imagine.  Or even better, recall a memory or two of a truly special moment in your life.  Think about who is sharing these moments with you, and whether or not your days are more full by summoning these experiences to the front of your mind.  By doing this, you can feel that the love in that moment is within your reach at any moment.  Anytime.